Day Three-ish

The best intentions don't stop me walking to the fridge. Especially after going grocery shopping. I love food (obviously) and get excited about the new foods I buy. So I went grocery shopping on Monday and got pesto, and bruschetta, and hummus, peanut butter, and sprout bread. When I get home I want a sandwich with pesto and avocado, peanut butter and jelly, and peppers and hummus. Everything taste so good but healthy food isn't healthy if you eat it all in one day.

I'm listening to Valerie Bertinelli's book Losing It. She talks about all these things going on in her life like getting a movie part or fighting with her ex-husband. But then she would go back to her date book or diary and it would just say "feel fat today" or "current weight...." She wondered how weight and body image can take a priority role in her life when there were emotional and relationship issues she needed to work out first.

This made me think about how unhappy I was last year at a bad job in a new place. Maybe I just comforted myself with food to avoid trying to confront my boss or try to get out of my comfort zone to meet people. Like I can blame the weight for me not meeting people instead of blaming myself. After a while I realized I did make friends and now I have a new job. So now I can focus on me. :)

Tomorrow my main goal is to work out. I will either hike with the hyper dog or go to the gym depending how annoyed with said dog I am. I also need to do homework. It's hard to be motivated to do work for a very uninteresting course. The subject is not so bad but somehow the discussion questions are weird which makes me avoid the work.