I live by myself and I basically work alone at the gym, so I'm pretty used to putting myself first. I think that's fine since Later in life I'll work with other people and live with other people, so I'm taking the time to figure out whats really important to me.
This week I've really had to NOT put me first. I'm not trying to be like a snotty self righteous teenager. In a week when going to the gym and eating healthy should be on the top of my list other things have come up. Maybe that's why my posts have been so short, I'm just preoccupied.
During tax season (nowish-Apr 15th) I help my aunt at her accounting firm. One job is to scan old files. She got a new scanner and it worked fine on Wednesday, scanned 4 things yesterday and since has been giving me an error message. I really am trying to do a good job and do work but the machine isn't working. I feel like I'm just hovering around the office until this gets fixed.
Ok this one is about me but out of my control: I haven't heard about the school yet. I understand if their office was closed this week, but I am also hovering about that. I haven't signed up for any classes for next semester because I don't know if I'll need to continue with civil engineering classes, take pre-requisites, or start classes in February. And I can't get my loan money until I sign up for classes.
The last thing is absolutely not about me. I started taking care of a friend's dog on the 23rd. On Christmas I gave her a huge bone for her present and she ate the entire thing, no burying for her. Then she was tired all day Sunday. I figured it was from the hectic holidays since there were a lot of people and we were at my aunts house. Unfortunately she kind of kept getting sicker. Yesterday she pooped in my room, threw up, and pooped in the kitchen. We took her to the emergency vet last night. That doctor said the blood worked should she had a serious infection from eating bad food. (We think she got into some remains the neighbors had left from hunting) She was put on fluids and antibiotics for 24hrs. Today I went to check on her and just keep her company for a bit. The day doctor didn't think the dog was improving fast enough so she took some x-rays. Apparently the dogs spleen wasn't visible so there may be a mass. The x-ray is inconclusive so we'd need an ultrasound to be sure but it may be a cancerous tumor. We are waiting until this afternoon to see if the dog significantly improves from the antibiotics. The dog is 10yrs old and has very severe arthritis. We don't want her to be in a lot of pain and know she doesn't have that much longer to live. Definitely some intense emotions and decision.
I certainly didn't want to intentionally ruin anyone's day with my sob story but I did need to get everything out. For me writing things on my blog help me from inhaling the huge container of ice cream or the leftover Christmas cookies. It's very hard to work out when you want to be somewhere else, and I want to eat sweet things because they make me feel better.
Whatever the outcome of the scanner, school, and dog, I do know 2011 will be a better year. I am going to start school to become a teacher (somehow) and race in a half marathon. I always remind myself that good times only feel great because we've survived the bad and difficult times.