Friday, May 14, 2010

Dear Mertle's Brain,

I understand the power of positive thinking, and how it can cure sicknesses and give people energy. HERE'S THE THING: it doesn't work on lactose intolerance.

You are lactose intolerant!

Stop denying and accept it. Milk causes me pain, weird noises, and FARTS!! I know you only cheat at night so you don't "blow" your cover in public, but guess what pain at night is no better than pain during the day. Any sane person would stop torturing herself once she figured out what DIRECTLY causes pain and gas. We had some good times with cool glasses of milk, ice cream, and even
Ac-Ti-v.i.A! (you sang that didn't you?) But it's time to grow up and accept that those days are over and we will be a better person for it.

Again stop with the dairy. It hurts :(

Your Friend,
Mertle's Stomach and Intestines

PS: Should we start looking into our compulsive eating? This could be fueling the lactose eating episodes and not helping our weight loss plan....more to come later

1 comment:

  1. Ahhhh good post...because I can superimpose the words "overeating unti the point of being sick' into the story line and that's me. Yet I continue to do it...over and over and over (less now, thank goodness). Sometimes I just want to say, "Brain get a clue, the body doesn't like it!"