Monday, August 2, 2010

Why I changed

I read FatGirlvsWorld post about her lowest point, which was inspired by Jess's post about her lowest point and highest weight. Both posts told the story of that tipping point. Where you say I'm done being this old person I'm ready to be a new me! So here's some of my story. I say some because I've been overweight what seems like my entire life, so I've always been trying to lose weight. It's not like I ate junk food for years on end and then switched from cola to water and lost a bunch of weight. It's definitely been a roller coaster. I believe this blog is the thing that will keep me accountable and pull the roller coaster car off the ups and downs and into the station of happy weight-ville.

I've been continuously trying to lose weight for about a year and a half now. I've hit lots of plateaus and had a few up when I was moving, or would go on vacation but I am certainly far away from who I was in Dec 08. Dec 08 was when I graduated from college. I completed college in 3.5 years by taking courses in high school and one summer of classes. Sounds like a great accomplishment but I feel like I have nothing to show for it (besides the degree). After my second year of college I stayed at school working as a lab technician. The job was fairly relaxed so I went to the gym almost everyday, did the core foods WW program, and took long walks at night. I lost about 10lbs that summer getting to my high school weight of 182.

Then everything went in the opposite direction. I had a full course load that fall, spring, summer, and fall with no real breaks. I got a summer job that continued until I left college, in addition to my on campus job. I held positions in clubs and in my sorority. Yeah I was in a sorority and just saying it brings up happy memories and stressful ones! In my last semester I wanted to do everything. I had 2 jobs, 16 credits, the fundamentals of engineering exam (kinda like the SAT for engs), sorority positions, interviewing for full time jobs, and I wanted to spend as much time with my friends as possible. So I'd race from class to work to the sorority to the bar stopping at subway or Hardee's if I had a 5 min break. I lived on Monster drinks. The entire semester I was counting down the days to the end of the semester not in that "joyous this is a great accomplishment" way but in the "I can finally sleep and think in 75 days" way. Burned out is putting it lightly. My highest weight after that craziness was 240lbs.

When January came and the holiday's were over I finally took time for myself. It was like I was in a car on the fast track and I finally got out of it. I started exercising and eating better. The thing that really changed was I like my body more. I always thought I was fat when I was 180lbs now I DREAM of being there again. I may have days when I hate everything in my closet and just put sweats on but overall I know I'm moving in the right direction. My body is better than it was a year ago or a month ago and I keep working so I can always say that. The other thing was I've kind of become a commitment-phobe. I have to be very careful to not get in over my head. I never want that feeling that I'm not in control. It's hard to explain but I don't want to feel obligated to do the things I love, I don't want my life to feel like a continuous list of chores.

Now I'm back in school taking one semester at a time. I'm going for my masters in civil engineering but I'm also taking finance classes and possibly education classes. I'm perfectly happy with my 14hr a week job, I go hiking, to the gym, and cook myself dinner. I feel I can much better handle the future now and I'm grateful for that.

So like Jess asked: What was your lowest point and what made you decide to change?

2 comments:

  1. I had a friend who did gastric bypass. It worked...for awhile. But she didn't really change her food (only her quantities) and began to gain much of it back. I have always been overweight (okay, obese), but otherwise very healthy. But I knew at age 43, that diabetes, high blood pressure and "old guy" status of a very sedentary lifestyle was just a few years away. I decided that I was still young enough to change...and I have...and will continue to get even more healthy.

    Thanks for your very honest post.

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  2. Thank you for sharing your struggles, and for your comments! I remember 8am classes, both taking them AND teaching them :-P I don't envy your hectic schedule, I did that for over a decade before I finally had my first daughter and decided to stay home and be a full time mom and wife.

    My turn around point wasn't actually my lowest point. It was the fact that I turned 30 and was over 300 pounds! I realized if I didn't make a drastic change, I would most likely be 400 pounds by the time is was 40. That scared me, as well as knee trouble, breathing getting more difficult, and not being able to keep up with my daughter. I maxed out at 305 in December of 2009, and decided my 30th year (2010) was going to be different. And it HAS! Woohoo!

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